For Mims

My world is a little smaller. There are fewer experiences than there were before, but to complain incessantly is complacence and ingratitude that even I can not muster. Where I am and how I am are a product of who I am and what I have done thus far. So, the conclusion may be drawn, that perhaps, all this is my own fault.

Philosophical musings aside, I find that when I can not look beyond my own problems, I lost sight of a much larger truth. Life basically sucks. No one ever told me that life would be this endless array of lilies in a garden surrounded by butterflies and candy. If anything, I have been warned about how unexpected things always end up being. You have to work at anything that is even vaguely worthwhile.

So here's the thing about complaining, and being a malcontent, the unhappiest at the end of that particular road, is you.

For Mims

To be seen

The thing about returning to familiarity, is that it isn't all that you imagined in your head. In your head, the colours of 'old' world are bright, and shiny. And everybody loves you. The truth, however, is a different animal. The trouble with going back, is that you regress into all those things that made you run out in an attempt to change your life in the first place.

I can't decide what I hate more, missing how things used to be, or returning to that place and time, where you are unimportant, where you are never seen. Everybody looks through you. You are simply the means to a more attractive end.

I have touched the sun, even if only for an all too brief moment, and I can not go back. I can not go back to being an ordinary creature that lays in wait, in the vain hope that others will see me, finally. Again now, I find myself desperate to escape. I am searching for exit signs. And, rest assured, when I do find one, I will be gone again. To a land where I am seen.