Growing pains

So, here's the thing. As you grow up, there are certain things you come to depend upon. Some truths, some version of yourself that you like, some people that you trust. However, as you grow older, these things are less certain, and therefore less dependable. The american movies will tell you that this is what growing up feels like, that certainties are meant to be lost with age, but we all know how I feel about anything patently american. I sometimes think, that the best way to live life is to set yourself up for disappointment, and that way, you are actually never disappointed. Does that make any sense. The truth, perhaps, is somewhere in the middle.(cheers go up in the KFI audience) That this is what growing up feels like, but a smart person will also know to never expect anything. And, unfortunately for me, I am growing up, and I am smart. Which is why I am tired. I dislike change. And everything isn't changing, it has already changed. I just got left behind. Now I am left with the difficult task of moving on, alone.

Love should be...

Love should be, like the song in my ears now, gently humming, like that line I love, like death,instantaneous. Love should be, long, and irreverent. Love should be like sunlight, after a really long cold weekend. Love should be like wandering into your favourite dream, and ice cream, that's just about to melt. Love should be warm, and should glow. Love should be like a blow to your stomach, leaving you speechless. And I should be in love. Quietly.

The world is a sick animal.

32 students were shot to death in a unversity in Virginia,USA, after which the gunman killed himself, bringing the death toll to 33. What the fuck is wrong with that damn country? People throwing their lives away on drugs and booze and pretending they have the world's biggest problems, problems big enough to shoot a classroom full of students going about their business!! They have everything, every fucking conceivable luxury is available to them, it is not called the land of opportunity for nothing, and they choose to behave in this manner. 70 percent of the population in my country lives below the poverty line. 70% of over one billion is over 700 million people who live in poverty. That is hundreds of millions of children who are literally dying for the lack of 3 square, no, 1 square meal a day.

What arrogance and sheer madness prevails in that fucking hellhole of a motherfucking country?? If I had the oppurtunity, George fucking bastard Bush would be strung up by his own intestines and left for a pack of jackals to feast on the rest of his rotting carcass. M0THERFUCK!!

A new blog name, does not a life change make.

So, here's the thing, I changed the name of my blog to reflect the phrase i most often use in my pitiful excuse for writing. And I thought my life has changed. Except it hasn't. I am still a stupid girl lost in the big bad, fucked up, really really REALLY expensive city. What on earth...........

Death come softly.

I will die tonight. In my sleep. And I will be gone, and in peace. I am a blip and a whore, and tonight I am gone from here. Slowly and softly. Please cause me no pain. Harshness will awaken me, and I wish to be asleep when I go.

Please, please, please let me be gone. Let me have died.